Funny paintball stories.

I wanted to bring funny paintball stories back. We had quite a few good ones. It's kind of long, but here's a pretty good one that happened to me not long ago...

On one fine Saturday, a bunch or friends and I were scheduled to play. I arrived a little early just to check our field over. While I'm out inspecting the field, my phone rings. It's one of my friends that hardly ever plays, and he's telling me that he's going to come out and play. Great! I think, we have another person. He asks if he can borrow a mask and one of my markers. I tell him that's fine, and ask him if he's going to need any balls? He tells me that he has some and we are good to go.

About an hour later he shows up. He pops his trunk, and then I see them. A terrible thing...Monsterballs. I'm happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I know he has a snowballs chance in hell of ever hitting me with those nasty things. Sad because I have been hit with Monsterballs before when I was a young man, and it was not very pleasant. Keep in mind that I am a Marine. I served in Iraq and was blown up and shot at, and here I'm am, scared to death at the slim possibility of getting hit with one of these heinous things.

Before we get started, I ask him where he even got them at, because I had not seen them forever. He tells me they had been sitting in his basement for quite a long time. Great Scott! I think. I tell him that these are probably not going to work, and are most likely going to make a mess out of my marker he was using. I tell him just for the hell of it, lets see if these things shoot. They were mostly oval shaped, and looked like little easter eggs. He shoots of a few shots at a tree, and a few bounce off. First, I'm just shocked that they actually work, then the fear sinks in. If these are bouncing off a tree, what are they going to do to my skin?

We wait for everyone to show up, get geared up, and get out on the field and start playing. Everything is going well and then I get hit in the hopper. I waive myself out for all to see. I stand up to leave my position and enter the dead zone and then it happens. I get lit up. With Monsterballs. Some in the chest, some in the ribs, and one right in the belly button. The pain makes me sweat. I yell out loud, and swear for a little bit, but it doesn't make me feel much better. I get up to the dead zone and see that not one of the d*** things broke on me. They maybe broke my ribs I suppose, but the balls themselves certainly didn't break.

After the game was over I took off my shirt to look at the damage. I heard just about everyone gasp. One of my buddies girlfriends ever turned her head. I'm not sure if it was because she's never seen such a sexy body before, or if it was because of the welts. I look down. Crap, it's the welts. Bloody welts. From there on out Monsterballs were never allowed at our field again. After we were don't playing we actually busted a few of the balls open and I kid you not, some looked like there was playdough inside. This was almost 2 weeks ago, and the welts are still clear as day. I should take some pics.

yea we had some guys come n shoot monsterballs.

they were shooting a tree from 20 ft n not breaking

Brock wrote:

yea we had some guys come n shoot monsterballs.

they were shooting a tree from 20 ft n not breaking

They should probably be outlawed. The things are dangerous. I've heard of some fields not allowing them.

a lot of fields. and to be fair,.. any reputable field should be selling field paint,.. and if its monster,.. dont go.

walmart stopped carrying them

Brock wrote:

a lot of fields. and to be fair,.. any reputable field should be selling field paint,.. and if its monster,.. dont go.

walmart stopped carrying them

Yeah, if there was a field that used monsterballs as their field paint, I'd be more then a little suspicious. It'd have to be a pretty sketchy place to do that.

Did Walmart stop carrying them because they were killing people? I wouldn't be shocked.

i think the company phazed them out due to bad press

Brock wrote:

i think the company phazed them out due to bad press

I hope so. Those things are the devil. I remember seeing a video once of a guy jumping up and down on a bag of them and none broke. I'm not sure how big the guy was, but does it even matter?

I frickin' hate monsterballs

I bet re-balls hurt.

Anyways.... Back on topic.

I'll post up my funny "incidents" tomorrow, maybe?